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How to Write the First Message to Get a Response (and Avoid Being Ignored)

How to Write the First Message to Get a Response (and Avoid Being Ignored)

Starting a conversation in online dating can feel like a challenge, especially when many men send generic or uninspired messages. If you want to get a real response instead of being ignored, your first message should be engaging, personal, and fun. Here are some key strategies to make sure your message stands out.

1. Avoid Generic Openers

Messages like "Hey," "How are you?" or "What's up?" are overused and don’t create interest. Women receive dozens of these every day, so they rarely stand out. Instead of a plain greeting, make your opening line something that sparks curiosity or leads to an actual conversation.

2. Reference Something from Her Profile

One of the best ways to stand out is by showing that you've actually read her profile. Find something unique about her and use it to start a conversation.

For example:

  • "I see you love hiking—what’s the most breathtaking place you’ve been to?"
  • "Your dog looks like the real boss in your house. Who's in charge, you or him?"
  • "You play the guitar? That’s awesome! What’s your favorite song to perform?"

3. Ask an Interesting Question

People love to share their thoughts, especially when it's about something fun. Asking a creative question makes it easier for her to reply.

Try something like:

  • "If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?"
  • "What’s your ultimate guilty pleasure TV show?"
  • "Would you rather be able to time travel or read minds?"

4. Keep It Playful and Confident

Confidence and humor go a long way in online conversations. Light teasing and fun assumptions can make the chat more engaging.

For example:

  • "You have way too many travel photos… are you secretly a travel blogger?"
  • "Pineapple on pizza: the ultimate food crime or genius idea?"

5. Avoid Overused Compliments

Writing "You're beautiful" won’t make you stand out. Instead, try compliments that are more specific and engaging.

For example:

  • "That red dress in your last picture? Power move. Definitely stylish!"
  • "You look like someone who has amazing taste in music. Convince me!"

6. End with a Hook That Invites a Reply

If your message doesn’t give her something to respond to, she probably won’t. End with a playful challenge or an open-ended question.

Try:

  • "So, what’s the verdict—are we getting along, or should I prepare a backup plan?"
  • "I bet you can’t guess my favorite movie. Take one shot!"

7. Match Her Energy and Don’t Be Desperate

If she doesn’t respond immediately, don’t send follow-up messages like:

  • "Hey, why are you ignoring me?"
  • "Guess you’re not interested, never mind."

Confidence means respecting her space. If she’s interested, she’ll respond. If not, move on.

Final Thoughts

The first message sets the tone for your entire conversation. By making it engaging, personal, and fun, you significantly increase your chances of getting a response. Avoid clichés, show genuine curiosity, and make the chat enjoyable. Now, go try it—who’s the lucky person getting your next message?

Chat with the best girls

Bianka
Bianka★ 5.0
If you’re the kind of guy who overthinks his opening line, don’t worry—I probably overthink my responses too. Let’s just be awkward together. 🤭
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Beatriz
Beatriz★ 5.0
If you like philosophy and bad puns, we’ll get along just fine.
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Asha
Asha★ 5.0
A little sweet, a little spicy—like a perfect cocktail. 🍸 I appreciate kindness, witty banter, and a man who doesn’t need to shout to be heard.
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